repeated my father, stamping.

«Yes,» I answered, and immediately received a stinging slap in the

face, which afforded my aunt great satisfaction. I heard her gulp, as

though she had swallowed some hot tea. From me my father ran to

Yushka.

«And you, you rascal, ought not to have dared to accept such a

present,» he said, pulling him by the hair: «and you sold it, too, you

good-for-nothing boy!»

Yushka, as I learned later had, in the simplicity of his heart, taken

my watch to a neighbouring watchmaker’s. The watchmaker had displayed

it in his shop-window; Nastasey Nastasyeitch had seen it, as he passed

by, bought it and brought it along with him.

However, my ordeal and Yushka’s did not last long: my father gasped

for breath, and coughed till he choked; indeed, it was not in his

character to be angry long.

«Brother, Porfiry Petrovitch,» observed my aunt, as soon as she

noticed not without regret that my father’s anger had, so to speak,

flickered out, «don’t you worry yourself further: it’s not worth

dirtying your hands over. I tell you what I suggest: with the consent

of our honoured friend, Nastasey Nastasyeitch, in consideration of the

base ingratitude of your son—I will take charge of the watch; and

since he has shown by his conduct that he is not worthy to wear it and

does not even understand its value, I will present it in your name to

a person who will be very sensible of your kindness.»

«Whom do you mean?» asked my father.

«To Hrisanf Lukitch,» my aunt articulated, with slight hesitation.

«To Hrisashka?» asked my father, and with a wave of his hand, he

added: «It’s all one to me. You can throw it in the stove, if you

like.»

He buttoned up his open vest and went out, writhing from his coughing.

«And you, my good friend, do you agree?» said my aunt, addressing

Nastasey Nastasyeitch.

«I am quite agreeable,» responded the latter. During the whole

proceedings he had not stirred and only snorting stealthily and

stealthily rubbing the ends of his fingers, had fixed his foxy eyes by

turns on me, on my father, and on Yushka. We afforded him real

gratification!

My aunt’s suggestion revolted me to the depths of my soul. It was not

that I regretted the watch; but the person to whom she proposed to

present it was absolutely hateful to me. This Hrisanf Lukitch (his

surname was Trankvillitatin), a stalwart, robust, lanky divinity

student, was in the habit of coming to our house—goodness knows what

for!—to help the children with their lessons, my aunt

asserted; but he could not help us with our lessons because he had

never learnt anything himself and was as stupid as a horse. He was

rather like a horse altogether: he thudded with his feet as though

they had been hoofs, did not laugh but neighed, opening his jaws till

you could see right down his throat—and he had a long face, a hooked

nose and big, flat jaw-bones; he wore a shaggy frieze, full-skirted

coat, and smelt of raw meat. My aunt idolised him and called him a

good-looking man, a cavalier and even a grenadier. He had a habit of

tapping children on the forehead with the nails of his long fingers,

hard as stones (he used to do it to me when I was younger), and as he

tapped he would chuckle and say with surprise: «How your head

resounds, it must be empty.» And this lout was to possess my

watch!—No, indeed, I determined in my own mind as I ran out of the

drawing-room and flung myself on my bed, while my cheek glowed crimson

from the slap I had received and my heart, too, was aglow with the

bitterness of the insult and the thirst for revenge—no, indeed! I

would not allow that cursed Hrisashka to jeer at me…. He would put

on the watch, let the chain hang over his stomach, would neigh with

delight; no, indeed!

«Quite so, but how was it to be done, how to prevent it?»

I determined to steal the watch from my aunt.

VIII

Luckily Trankvillitatin was away from the town at the time: he could

not come to us before the next day; I must take advantage of the

night! My aunt did not lock her bedroom door and, indeed, none of the

keys in the house would turn in the locks; but where would she put the

watch, where would she hide it? She kept it in her pocket till the

evening and even took it out and looked at it more than once; but at

night—where would it be at night?—Well, that was just my work to

find out, I thought, shaking my fists.

I was burning with boldness and terror and joy at the thought of the

approaching crime. I was continually nodding to myself; I knitted my

brows. I whispered: «Wait a bit!» I threatened someone, I was wicked,

I was dangerous … and I avoided David!—no one, not even he, must

have the slightest suspicion of what I meant to do….

I would act alone and alone I would answer for it!

Slowly the day lagged by, then the evening, at last the night came. I

did nothing; I even tried not to move: one thought was stuck in my

head like a nail. At dinner my father, who was, as I have said,

naturally gentle, and who was a little ashamed of his harshness—boys

of sixteen are not slapped in the face—tried to be affectionate to

me; but I rejected his overtures, not from slowness to forgive, as he

imagined at the time, but simply that I was afraid of my feelings

getting the better of me; I wanted to preserve untouched all the heat

of my vengeance, all the hardness of unalterable determination. I went

to bed very early; but of course I did not sleep and did not even shut

my eyes, but on the contrary opened them wide, though I did pull the

quilt over my head. I did not consider beforehand how to act. I had no

plan of any kind; I only waited till everything should be quiet in the

house. I only took one step: I did not remove my stockings. My aunt’s

room was on the second floor. One had to pass through the dining-room

and the hall, go up the stairs, pass along a little passage and

there … on the right was the door! I must not on any account take

with me a candle or a lantern; in the corner of my aunt’s room a little

lamp was always burning before the ikon shrine; I knew that. So I

should be able to see. I still lay with staring eyes and my mouth open

and parched; the blood was throbbing in my temples, in my ears, in my

throat, in my back, all over me! I waited … but it seemed as though

some demon were mocking me; time passed and passed but still silence

did not reign.

IX

Never, I thought, had David been so late getting to sleep…. David,

the silent David, even began talking to me! Never had they gone on so

long banging, talking, walking about the house! And what could they be

talking about? I wondered; as though they had not had the whole day to

talk in! Sounds outside persisted, too; first a dog barked on a

shrill, obstinate note; then a drunken peasant was making an uproar

somewhere and would not be pacified; then gates kept creaking; then a

wretched cart on racketty wheels kept passing and passing and seeming

as though it would never pass! However, these sounds did not worry me:

on the contrary, I was glad of them; they seemed to distract my

attention. But now at last it seemed as though all were tranquil. Only

the pendulum of our old clock ticked gravely and drowsily in the

dining-room and there was an even drawn-out sound like the hard

breathing of people asleep. I was on the point of getting up, then

again something rustled … then suddenly sighed, something soft fell

down … and a whisper glided along the walls.

Or was there nothing of the sort—and was it only imagination mocking

me?

At last all was still. It was the very heart, the very dead of night.

The time had come! Chill with anticipation, I threw off the

bedclothes, let my feet down to the floor, stood up … one step; a

second…. I stole along, my feet, heavy as though they did not belong

to me, trod feebly and uncertainly. Stay! what was that sound? Someone

sawing, somewhere, or scraping … or sighing? I listened … I felt my

cheeks twitching and cold watery tears came into my eyes. Nothing! …

I stole on again. It was dark but I knew the way. All at once I

stumbled against a chair…. What a bang and how it hurt! It hit me

just on my leg…. I stood stock still. Well, did that wake them? Ah!

here goes! Suddenly I felt bold and even spiteful. On! On! Now the

dining-room was crossed, then the door was groped for and opened at

one swing. The cursed hinge squeaked, bother it! Then I went up the

stairs, one! two! one! two! A step creaked under my foot; I looked at

it spitefully, just as though I could see it. Then I stretched for the

handle of another door. This one made not the slightest sound! It flew

open so easily, as though to say, «Pray walk in.» … And now I was in

the corridor!

In the corridor there was a little window high up under the ceiling, a

faint light filtered in through the dark panes. And in that glimmer of

light I could see our little errand girl lying on the floor on a mat,

both arms behind her tousled head; she was sound asleep, breathing

rapidly and the fatal door was just behind her head. I stepped across

the mat, across the girl … who opened that door? … I don’t know,

but there I was in my aunt’s room. There was the little lamp in one

corner and the bed in the other and my aunt in her cap and night

jacket on the bed with her face towards me. She was asleep, she did

not stir,